If someone would have told me this was how I would spend my graduate life, I'd have made a runner from campus during first year. Back then, I innocently believed that getting my degree was a first class ticket to a full time job (not those phoney student jobs either- like telesales, stockroom assistants or receptionists- real jobs for real adults. Can you imagine?!).
The drunken, hazy, city-sprawled lights of Leicester Square (and all of first year for that matter) seem a distant blur now. Instead, I've traded in cheap vodka and instant noodles to spend my days searching Reed looking for jobs I would have scoffed at in high school. What am I doing?
The horrible truth is that I never actually knew what I wanted to do... Hell, even my personal statement made fun of the fact that I've never had a career path in mind. But that never phased me; I pushed forward academically, arrogantly bumping the shoulders of those 'idiots' who left high school to go into a job. "I'll be earning triple that" "i'll have prospects, skills, employability and will progress in a business".
Well no.
Five years on and those 'idiots' (damn I want to kick myself) are five-years into a profession when I haven't even had a call back. Has so much changed in these last years that I fell into the trap? Or has the trap always been there and I waddled right into the festering pit? (The pit of overpopulated, overzealous, overloaded-with-debt graduates spawned from 2014). Christ.
It went from full time retail jobs in one of my favorite high street brands (hello discount and stylish friends and savings and expensive lingere and Brazillian's a and GOODBYE OVERDRAFT)...
Then part time retail jobs/administrative positions/ recruitment agencies (still... Discount! Money! Savings! Moderately-priced lingere! Smaller and more manageable overdraft!)...
But wait. The days have darkened and volunteering seems to be a good option. Rearing it's ugly head in my direction, it drags me in with employability prospects that no graduate can resist. (Alas, goodbye precious discount, goodbye potential savings... Hello undergraduate-grey underwear. Hello 70s bush and forever expanding overdraft spiralling out of control elbowing me towards the firey pits of hell....) and so on so forth.
I would sell my soul to be an air hostess (no experience) a wedding planner's assistant (no experience) a park ranger (no experience) a nursery assistant (no experience) a high end retail customer advisor (not enough experience) a yoga teach (no experience, also only know about 8 yoga positions) a make up artist (I've successfully camoflaged some pretty hideous beats of spots in the past) a visual merchandiser (no... You get the idea. I need my big break. I need a job to say IVE HAD A JOB LOOK AT MEI TOTALLY GOT THIS.
I want to curl up in the foetal position and cry for a few days.
